OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
And he’d be like ‘WOW, I NEED SOME MORE OF THIS IN MY LIFE’
And Olivia’s there like ‘WHAT THE COCKING HELL?!’
Best response ever
I WILL I SWEAR TO GOD AHAHAHAHA
“#doesn’t help I’m listening to ‘Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now’ I’ve been listening the The Smiths all day and I’m depressed from it. :’(
UGH, they’re a beautiful band but they don’t half make me depressed!
Well I’m on msn for another half hour and I’ll have my phone with me if you need me. DEPRESSION’S A BITCH IT LIKES TO SPRING UP IN YOUR GRILL AND BE ALL HEY BITCH GONE DEPRESS and you’re like I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS.
You’re too sweet hun thank you (: Oh I’ll miss you when you’ve gone ):
I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS! Yes, god yes I know I’ve had it since I was about 14 or so! IT’S ALL FUN FUN FUN!
There is this thing currently going around tumblr about why dating a writer is good. I think it’s nice that this thing is going around, because I like writers, and lots of us could use more dates. As a writer who has dated people, though — including other writers — I would like to offer some correctives to this list.
The items in bold are the alleged reasons to date a writer. I have replaced the original commentary with my bleak corrective, in lightface.
- Writers will romance you with words. We probably won’t. We write for ourselves or for money and by the time we’re done we’re sick of it. If we have to write you something there’s a good chance it’ll take us two days and we’ll be really snippy and grumpy about the process.
- Writers will write about you. You don’t want this. Trust me.
- Writers will take you to interesting events. No. We will not. We are busy writing. Leave us alone about these “interesting events.” I know one person who dates a terrific writer. He goes out alone. She is busy writing.
- Writers will remind you that money doesn’t matter so much. Yes. We will do this by borrowing money from you. Constantly.
- Writers will acknowledge you and dedicate things to you. A better way to ensure this would be to become an agent. That way you’d actually make money off of talking people through their neuroses.
- Writers will offer you an interesting perspective on things. Yes. Constantly. While you’re trying to watch TV or take a shower. You will have to listen to observations all day long, in addition to being asked to read the observations we wrote about when you were at work and unavailable for bothering. It will be almost as annoying as dating a stand-up comedian, except if you don’t find these observations scintillating we will think you’re dumb, instead of uptight.
- Writers are smart. The moment you realize this is not true, your relationship with a writer will develop a significant problem.
- Writers are really passionate. About writing. Not necessarily about you. Are you writing?
- Writers can think through their feelings. So don’t start an argument unless you’re ready for a very, very lengthy explication of our position, our feelings about your position, and what scenes from our recent fiction the whole thing is reminding us of.
- Writers enjoy their solitude. So get lost, will you?
- Writers are creative. This is why we have such good reasons why you should lend us $300 and/or leave us alone, we’re writing.
- Writers wear their hearts on their sleeves. Serious advice: if you meet a writer who’s actually demonstrative, be careful.
- Writers will teach you cool new words. This is possibly true! We may also expect you to remember them, correct your grammar, and look pained after reading mundane notes you’ve left for us.
- Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for you. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for writing. Are you writing? Get in line, then.
- Writers can find 1000 ways to tell you why they like you. By the 108th you’ll be pretty sure we’re just making them up for fun.
- Writers communicate in a bunch of different ways. But mostly writing. Hope you don’t like talking on the phone — that shit is rough.
- Writers can work from anywhere. So you might want to pass on that tandem bike rental when you’re on vacation.
- Writers are surrounded by interesting people. Every last one of whom is imaginary.
- Writers are easy to buy gifts for. This is true. Keep it in mind when your birthday rolls around, okay?
- Writers are sexy. No argument. Some people think this about heroin addicts, too.
Alternate solution: it will be pretty much like dating anyone else who likes to do a particular thing, you know?
NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT HIM
OH GOD I LOVE YOU
It has to be so quick like in about 15 seconds, mexican wave, get dragged off, break free, run down, snog him, run off.
BITCH I CAN DO IT QUICK
iwannatakearideonyourcumberstick:
Maybe it’s just the thought of Halloween.
Also brb closing the curtains if someone tries to scare me through them I will go outside and shoot that motherfucker in the face.
You scare me, I torture you until you start to bleed from your eyes.
JOIN ME AND MY DAD GRACE
WE’RE SKULKING AROUND IN THE DARK
well he is
i’m upstairs at the back of the house so I can have a light on :33
Oh I adore sulking around in the dark.
The light hurts my eyes, it’s hurting them right now.
I SHOULD NOT BE LISTENING TO THE SMITHS WHEN I AM DEPRESSED
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU TOO
IDK WHAT’S UP WITH ME TO BE HONEST ~
I SHOULD BE REALLY HAPPY BECAUSE I’M HAVING A GREAT TIME WITH YOU AND LORON
IDK
I GUESS THIS IS JUST MY THING, DEPRESSION GETS ME AT THE WEIRDEST OF TIMES.
ME TOO GRACE THO NO CREEPY SHIT YET
I SAW SOMETHING A MOMENT AGO
AND I DIDN’T LOOK AT IT I HAD TO GO UP AND REFRESH THE PAGE I WAS LIKE ‘FUCK THIS SHIT’
Maybe it’s just the thought of Halloween.
Also brb closing the curtains if someone tries to scare me through them I will go outside and shoot that motherfucker in the face.
You scare me, I torture you until you start to bleed from your eyes.
BRB just going to break down and cry
I DIDN’T HERP DERP THIS IS AWESOME
SET
YOUR
LASERS
TO
STUNNING
BECAUSE
BENEDICT
CUMBERBATCH
IS
HERE
BITCHES
iwannatakearideonyourcumberstick:
iwannatakearideonyourcumberstick:
Don’t be so silly.
It’s not tomorrow.
You’re just making this up…
TOMORROW?
IT’S SEVEN HOURS AND TWENTY FIVE MINUTES AWAY
H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3
GOD KAT YOU’RE SUCH A SPOIL SPORT
:( B-B-BUT WE SHOULD BE —-EXCIT———ED!
BUT WHY
I’M CRAPPING IT
I’M EXCITED FOR THE STORY BUT SERIOUSLY I’M SO SCARED OH GOD AND MY PLAN’S NO WHERE NEAR HALF WAY EVEN AND I HAVE GOT ANYTHING SORTED AND OH GOD~
Next week’s, the penultimate for this series looks bloody good though.
I was constantly going ‘Oh Lucas, what you doing?’ throughout that episode. The end, that was fucking mental. My mum went ‘Maybe he was a psyciatric patient?’ and I would absolutely adore if that was the truth, just suddenly going mental.
But I think him and Vaughn worked together as conmen and were partners or something IDK.
But I reckon Lucas is going to be killed off this series because they can’t have him as a traitor bounding around London and working for Harry because Harry doesn’t like traitors.
iwannatakearideonyourcumberstick:
Don’t be so silly.
It’s not tomorrow.
You’re just making this up…
TOMORROW?
IT’S SEVEN HOURS AND TWENTY FIVE MINUTES AWAY
H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3
GOD KAT YOU’RE SUCH A SPOIL SPORT
WAIT, WHAT? OLD!MERLIN? Elaboration please?
UH THAT’S ALL I KNOW REALLY
MERLIN TURNS OLD
Uh, it was in the premonitions in the crystals!
Where are you from?
Woking…ham…
I love that Martin always gets caught out with sports and where he lives. I remember the football, saying he supported England and then Nottingham United and then got asked where he comes from and he went ‘Wokingham… w-well… they’ve both god ‘ham’ in them?’
Don’t be so silly.
It’s not tomorrow.
You’re just making this up…
Then it’s ten
Which means there’s one more episode then it’s old!Merlin.
Oh god I am actually going to freak out.
LOL I’M SURE I’M SURE YOU WILL GET LOTS OF MONEY FOR IT. Oh they’re ever so cute though.
OH GOSH OH GOSH I DON’T WANT EPISODE 10 LOOK AT THAT HE WEAR GAIUS’ ROBES I WILL ACTUALLY FREAK RIGHT OUT I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO WATCH IT OH GOD. Oh yes I heard everyone’s uproar at that as well, ugh, that just sounds rubbish I don’t want that that’s stupid. YES THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. Because I read about Merlin drinking an elixir thing that makes him all old and er, I was thinking that and last night I was mentally going ‘DON’T YOU BLOODY DRINK THAT MERLIN DAMN YOU YOU’LL GO OLD AND I’LL CRY’ YES, this is what I’m hoping (: I really cannot wait to see how Arthur deals with it, I hope that it’s like we all think it’s going to be oh god I hope it’s good.
YES THAT’S EXACTLY TRUE, Lancelot just fucks off and everyone’s like ‘OH WELL HE’S GONE WHAT A SHAME!’ and then he pops up and it’s like ‘Oh, hi again, that’s convienient!’ LMFAO IT IS ALL THERE IS IN THIS SHOW, LITTLE KIDS IT WASHES OVER THEM IT’S FOR THE TEENAGE AUDIENCE BRADLEY’S LIKE ‘HERP DERP HAVE SOME AB’ ): Oh god yes, oh I really wanted to hug him, Arthur gave him a noogie, that was Arthur’s hug lol. OH YES THAT’S TRUE THAT GWAINE/MERLIN HUG MADE ME LIFE OH GOD
I WANT TO KNOW I WANT THEM TO DEAL WITH MORE HUNITH. I LIKE HUNITH, HUNITH ROCKS AND COLIN’S ADORABLE WITH HER.
LOLOLOLOLOL THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT ;D
johnohhlosthisvirginitybecausei:
17 5’8 and a half
The half makes all the difference ladies and gentlemen.
‘JOHN COME HOME FROM SARAH’S THERE’S SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT WE NEED TO DO’
‘HURR HURR NEVER MIND’
i fear myself, bamf-in-a-jumper and moriartyisirish may be turning this into a tumblr roleplay…
